Have you ever felt like you really know what you wanted but when you finally got what you wanted you weren't really sure if that is what you want anymore? Well in some ways that is how I feel. See, there is this guy that lives in a special part of my life in the past and present that I really love and care about. I feel like he doesn't notice how much I care for him and love him. It seems like I am the only one fighting for this relationship that we could have but I feel like it is hopeless. I feel like he doesn't realize that the reason why I stick around and keep coming back to him is because I still feel that energy and connection that we have is still there and is very strong.Well moving along with this, um .... I finally got my chance to be around him and start things fresh all over to see if we are really mean't to be together but when I got the chance the way I feel for him starts to change. I am not saying that I am not in love with him anymore or don't care about him either.But what I am saying is that I am tired or getting tired of him in ways of waiting for him to come around to be together as one,explaining myself,fighting for us, and trying to show how I feel.I understand that he doesn't want to rush into anything, but I just don't know how much longer I can hold on for him.I feel like that the longer I wait, he may not come around to love me enough to be with me and I may miss out in life on a good guy who wants to love me.As the days,weeks,months, and years pass by I have doubts about us because he is at a point in his life where he is vulnerable to mingle around with other girls since he is finish with school. I wonder if I am the only one in his life at times. Somtimes I feel like I need to compete with other girls just to get what I want.Am I selfish for wanting him and his love that comes with a whole package.Mabey or mabey not. But I do know, when I get tired of him I am going to through in the bag and keys of everything that we have and move on without looking back with regrets.


                       Diary of a CONCERNED WOMAN